DAD STORIES: “JAYBIRD”

Driving with my dad.
“There’s Jaybird Randall’s old house, Andy.”
“Oh.”
“Did I ever tell you about Jaybird?”
“Yeah, a couple times.”
“He was my friend who killed himself by shooting himself in the chest with a shotgun.”
“Yeah, dad, you’ve told me about him.”
“Usually when guys kill themselves with guns, they shoot themselves in the head but he shot himself in the chest. That’s still a pretty good way to kill yourself though.”
“Yeah, that’ll do it.”
“He was the unluckiest guy I ever met in my life. He was always falling down and breaking bones. I remember one time he got kicked in the balls by a mule. Nothing would ever go right for him. His wife was real mean too.”
“That’s sad.”
“Hey, do you want me to buy you a milkshake?!”